Its good to be the King.

Seriously I've missed this in my readings of the Bible over the years. How, I don't know. But there it is in 1Kings 1:1-4. Someone has the bright idea of giving David a virgin to keep him warm.
HELLO! Guys don't try this with your wives under penalty of death.
Was this their first choice? I guessed it seemed logical. "Blankets . . hmm. . nothing. I got it, virgin."
Maybe they thought he was so sick they would get some last brownie points with him. No one even mentioned a dog or cat. No hot water bottle. No fireplace. Nope, get the man a virgin STAT.